Absent father asks 30-year-old daughter for money for 28-year-old step-brother she barely knows: 'You will never see your money again'

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Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Feb 25, 2025 11:00 AM EST

When distant family members reach out to you for money, it can be a baffling experience. 

It's one thing if your favorite aunt reaches out to you and asks to borrow $100. You'd probably give that to her if you could afford to do so. It's a whole different situation when that one distant relative adds you as a friend on social media before pestering you for cash. it makes you wonder where they've been in all the years leading up to this! They've missed birthdays and holidays, never once thinking to chat with you online, yet here they are begging for rent money. Family is certainly important, but it's a bit different when it's a relative you've spoken to for less than 10 minutes in your whole life. 

In cases like this, it's best to get a second opinion, which this person did when they asked the internet to help them out. People gave them some good advice to navigate the situation, which you can read all about below. 

Up next, read about the company that left one flustered office employee inundated with phone calls after that business "gave out 10,000 flyers that had my phone number on them."

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  • 01
    'I'm expected to financially bail them out'
    via Blake Cheek For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02

    "AITA for refusing to help my step-brother and his struggling family financially?"

    I (30F) come from a divorced family. My dad remarried when I was 14, and my stepmom brought her own child into the mix, a 12- year-old step-brother. From the beginning, it felt like my stepmom wasn't fond of me, and our relationship has been nothing more than tolerating each other.
    via u/GrapeCurrent2868
  • 03
    My dad never pushed us to form a close bond, and after a while, I stopped visiting my dad's place altogether. He never really made an effort to bring me back into the fold either.
    via u/GrapeCurrent2868
  • 04
    Fast forward to today, my relationship with my dad is pretty much the same - distant and obligatory. He almost missed my wedding because he forgot the date. On the other hand, I've built a successful life, thanks in no small part to my supportive mom. Financially, I'm doing well.
    via u/GrapeCurrent2868
  • 05
    Recently, my dad approached me asking for financial help for my step-brother and his wife, who apparently are struggling with their young kid. I wasn't even aware that my step-brother was married, let alone having financial issues. My mom has always been of the opinion that it's my money, and I should decide what to do with it. My husband, however, is against the idea of helping, and to be honest, I share that sentiment.
    via u/GrapeCurrent2868
  • 06
    I don't have a close relationship with my step-brother or his family. My stepmom never made me feel welcome, and my dad's lack of involvement in my life hasn't helped either. I've never felt a familial connection, and it seems odd that now, out of the blue, I'm expected to financially bail them out.
    via u/GrapeCurrent2868
  • 07
    On the other hand, there's a part of me wondering if I'm being selfish. I did find out through a mutual friend that step brother is legitimately struggling. So, AITA for not wanting to help my step- brother and his family financially, given the strained history and lack of a meaningful relationship with them.
    via u/GrapeCurrent2868
  • 08
    D 100 F FEDERAL RESERVE LK421378 11 AAA
    via Pepi Stojanovski on Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 09

    This person has a great point: would Dad and Step Bro act the same if the situation were reversed?

    Successful_Bath1... NTA reverse the situation, if you were struggling and they were financially ok, would they help you out? I doubt it. You will never see your money again. Don't do it.
    via u/Successful_Bath1200
  • 10
    Inevitable-Bet-... Nta. Not selfish. Your dad is using you. Its weird. He acts like your step brother is more his kid than you.
    via u/Inevitable-Bet-4834
  • 11
    [deleted] Nta You weren't even important enough to tell he has a child but they suddenly found your existence important enough for money? He can ask all the people that were invited to their wedding for a financial handout.
    via u/[deleted]
  • 12
    FairyPenguinStKilda NTA - Daddy and Step Mommy can help him and his family
    via u/FairyPenguinStKilda
  • 13
    Fancy-Meaning-8... So your father wants you to give money, a significant amount to a person you haven't maintained a relationship with or ever. I get him asking for help, I don't get why if you weren't on the shortlist to be invited to the wedding he would expect you and your husband to actually accommodate his request.
    via u/Fancy-Meaning-8078
  • 14
    You are basically strangers, no amount of dressing you and stepson with sibling titles will actually make you siblings. Siblings get invited. to each others wedding. His request to help his wife son is as valid as asking you to help his neighbor . Or a stranger at best a person that you used to know.
    via u/Fancy-Meaning-8078
  • 15
    I would help my Fil stepson if asked but I also maintain a friendly relationship with him and his wife and my husband too but they don't consider each other as step siblings. More friends or cousins by marriage. Nta
    via u/Fancy-Meaning-8078

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Tags

family drama stepmother aita step mother finance money problems stepmom steps fatherdaughter family daughter step mom step brother money
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